Thursday, February 13, 2014

Later or tomorrow

The blond twin always plans her perfect day in her head. She wakes up with a list of what she will do and when. If we do anything to alter her plan, she always replies either "later" or "tomorrow."

I worry about her inflexibility.

We keep telling her that she needs to do some things immediately because tomorrow is too late. She doesn't understand what we're trying to teach her. All she thinks is that we're trying to ruin her plan. Every day there are examples of how later or tomorrow might be get into trouble, but she never learns the lesson. I realize part of it is that she's so young and part of it is just that she's stubborn.

Last weekend we had furniture delivered for the family room. This is no easy task. We have to rearrange the kitchen to get furniture into the family room because our foyer is very narrow. We spent the morning making sure the path was clear and getting the family room ready. We were swapping couches so we had to empty everything else in the family room to make room for the new couch and make it easy to remove the old couch. Every time I asked the girls to do something the blond twin said, "Later." I made her do everything anyway. When the delivery service showed up two hours early we talked about how we wouldn't have been ready if we waited.

This week we wanted to watch the Olympics with the girls. When we called them to watch TV the blond twin said, "tomorrow." We told her they Olympics didn't have a tomorrow. When figure skating was done then it was done for four years. She said that something else would be on tomorrow. She wanted to play in the basement with her sister. Both girls adore figure skating, but the blond twin had a different plan for that moment. Even though the brunette twin wanted to watch the Olympics, the blond twin wanted no part of it. She eventually came upstairs to watch when she realized that her twin wasn't going to come downstairs. She wasn't happy about it, but she didn't want to be left out.

I hope it's just a phase. I hope she'll outgrow her inability to take opportunities as they come, to change her plans when something worth exploring happens. I'm afraid she'll miss out on so many opportunities just because these things don't fit into her plan. I realize it's a common problem. I see it in so many people in so many walks of life. I just wish I could find a way to keep the blond twin from becoming one of those people.

1 comment:

Anna D. said...

I'm still struggling with accepting that sometimes a wrench will be thrown into my "perfect day" (as scheduled by my Google calendar, almost to the minute). It's my "I need to be perfect" personality that came from my family always encouraging me to do better, and better, and better. I was praised, sure (and thank goodness I was getting the "You did the best you could"s from my Dad) but I always felt like I needed to be on top of it all the time. I'll have to channel my 10 year old self to come up with suggestions for you - but I know I'll have some.