It turns out that the worst part of having surgery is the pre-op wait. After you're checked in and everything is verified, you just wait on a gurney for someone to wheel you into surgery. I didn't realize how long and scary this part was before my surgery last week. The truth is I had never had surgery before. I didn't know what to expect.
My tears started as they wheeled me towards to operating room. The hospital staff kept telling me not to worry, but that's not easy to do when you're about to give up complete control of your body for three or four hours. Wisely, someone decided to give me something to put me to sleep before I made it into the operating room.
The next thing I knew I was in a hospital room. My husband and mom were there, but I can't tell you if we spoke. I think I went right back to sleep.
A while later the girls and Daddy arrived. They carried a vanilla malt I had previously requested. Neither girl wanted to come near me. I can only imagine how scary Mommy looked with the tubes going from my IV. On my legs were these devices to keep my from developing blood clots. These things made constant noise as they inflated, vibrated and deflated. This went on every few minutes.
The brunette twin took stock of the room like a scientist. She asked me about everything, often with follow-up questions. The blond twin stood on the side and cried. She had quiet tears running down her face the entire time. She didn't want to come near me. The brunette twin kept talking, but from afar. She was afraid to get too close.
They didn't stay long. I am not sure I spoke with them much. I remember them being there, but also remember drifting in and out of sleep.
When I came home both girls cried as they hugged me. The brunette twin said it was the scariest day ever. I told her she was right. It was a scary day for all of us, but we were back together so things would be fine.