Wednesday, March 14, 2012

My One "Older Parent" Regret

The girls lost their paternal grandmother this week.  She died after a long battle with Alzheimer's.  When I told the girls, the brunette twin said, "Why is everyone dying on us?" 

This is my one regret about not having the girls when we were first married.  It's not like we didn't try -- a lot.  We enlisted numerous experts and prayed a lot.  We didn't become parents until six wedding anniversaries passed.

Of course, time didn't stand still for anyone else either.  We were older and so were all our relatives.  The past year it has all come back to haunt us via a blur of sad phone conversations, wakes and funerals. 

I realize if we had the girls when we wanted they would only be about 12 years old.  It's only a few more years, but it would have given them the opportunity to create more memories and take more photos.

I had all four of my grandparents until I was a junior in college.  I thought that was the norm.  I realize now how lucky I was and it makes me sad for the girls.

As it is their grandparents are just going to be people in a photo album.  They will only live on in the stories we tell.  The girls won't have their own memories of their grandparents.  Really, what do you remember from when you were eight-years-old?

There isn't anything I can do to change this regret, so I have to learn to live with it.  Still, I feel like we cheated the girls out of some special relationships by being "older" parents.

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