Thursday, September 9, 2010

My True Husband

We've long known that the brunette twin connects dots in ways other children don't.  I've often said she has a future in risk management as she tends to see all the problems that could occur in any situation.  

We find lately that she takes a random topic and applies it to her life.  It doesn't even have to be something she hears first-hand.

Today she crawled on my lap and said, "Mommy, is Daddy your true husband?"  It took a while to figure out what she meant, but in the end I discovered she overheard some children talking about their parents' marital situations.  She heard one boy talking about his Mom's new husband.  Another girl was talking about how her parents were getting a divorce, so she had two homes.

What she wanted to know was if her Daddy or I had been married before we married each other.  She seemed happy that we hadn't been married to anyone else before.  After we talked about it for a while, she said, "Are you planning to get divorced?  I don't want to have two houses. I want us all to live in the same house forever."  We talked for a while longer until she decided she was okay and wanted to play with her sister.

She really does break my heart some times.  She overheard the conversation last week.  She's been thinking about it since then.  I don't know why she finally decided to ask me today.  I'm just glad she finally decided to let me answer her questions.

I just hope we can keep having these conversations as she gets older.  I know it will be hard, but I know answering her questions is an important part of making her feel loved and secure.


Kim Moldofsky said...

It's good that she can talk to you about those Big Questions, but they do tug at your heart, especially when you realize the child has been ruminating on the topic for quite some time before opening up to you.

Kim Moldofsky said...

I just remembered an instance when my oldest was only about 3 years old and we read a picture book on adoption that talked about biological moms and adoptive moms. The book stressed that both of the moms were "real" and important. We discussed a friend of his who is adopted.

And then at least a week or two later we were digging in the garden and then he turned to me and asked plaintively, "Why did my real mom give me away?"

Not only did his questions not at all jive with tone of the book, but I AM his biological mom!

Still, I felt bad that he had been thinking it over for quite a while before he asked me.