Saturday, May 22, 2010

Just stop asking...

Here's one thing I just don't understand. Given all the news stories about how women are waiting to have children, and how the increase in fertility treatments has lead to an increase in multiples, how is it that people still ask me, "Do twins run in your family?"

In my case, the answer is yes. My maternal grandmother had a set of boy/girl twins long before ultrasound images gave you any warning. I know what we thought as we stared at the screen looking at two little sacs during our first ultrasound. I cannot image my grandfather's reaction when the nurse came out of the delivery room and said, "You have twins."

The most amazing thing is it is usually complete strangers who ask. I've had people walk up to me in the grocery store and start asking about our twin daughters. Why is this acceptable? Are these people walking up to every parent pushing a baby stroller to chat and give advice? What is it about multiples that brings out this need in some people?

Everyone we know understands how our girls came into our lives. They don't have to ask. Let's face it. If we wanted you to know we'd tell you. If we haven't told you, that means it's none of your business.

The polite answer is "Well, they do now." Yet most of the time, I don't see why I have to answer the question at all. I realize it's just small talk, but it's really a question that should be removed from any conversation. Whether a woman had twins naturally or through assisted reproductive technology, she still has two little miracles. Let's try to focus on that happiness and stop trying to figure out how the twins were conceived.

This was originally posted on the Chicago Moms Blog.


Nicki said...

Yeah, that is a little weird. I can see maybe if there were octuplets, someone's curiosity might win over their manners, but twins aren't THAT unusual!

Rachel said...

That is just odd!

eatmisery said...

I get that all the time. People think it's perfectly okay to ask me if the twins were conceived naturally. When I tell them, "yes," they actually act surprised.

I really hate that. It's nobody's business how they were conceived. So, my new response is, "on the couch, doggie-style." They don't seem to like that much, but it shuts them up because they know that anything they ask after that will be a snarky answer. Heh.