Tuesday, April 20, 2010

A Natural Separation

As soon as the girls were born, people started telling us how to raise twins.  I always found this amusing since none of them had twins.  One thing everyone agreed was that we needed to separate them as soon as possible so they would develop their own personalities, interests and friends.

I never bought into that advice.  I read as much as I could about twins and never found any research that separating twins is a good idea.  In fact, I found quite a bit of research saying it had negative effects. 
I always fought to keep them together.  I figured that some day they would develop their own interests and naturally separate a bit.  Until they decided to do it, I wasn't going to force them to separate.  It hasn't been easy, but we've managed to keep them together.

The first signs of separation came a few days ago.  They are in a summer camp that allows them to pick activities based upon their interests.  The girls chose to go into different activities for part of the program.  We talked about how this meant they would not be together and made sure they were comfortable with the concept.  Both of them seemed excited about taking their own classes.

I'm pretty happy about this development.  Their bond is so strong that I don't worry about them losing that connection.  An hour here or there apart will make them stronger individuals and give them more to talk about when they are together.  It also shows that they are developing their own interests based upon their skills.  The classes they chose track with their current interests. 

It's also validation that we haven't really screwed up our children yet.  Our decision to leave them together as long as they wanted to be together seems to be working out well.  Oh, I'm sure we've screwed up our children in other ways, but we seem okay on this issue.


Nicki said...

That camp sounds awesome! I wonder why people feel so strongly that twins need to be separated??? What is the point of separating ANY two siblings who want to be together?

Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

I love that you made that choice. I don't like the forced separation of siblings let alone twins. Friends will come and go but family is forever. And twins? I can't even imagine the bond that they can share...

Noelle said...

I just nominated you for a Beautiful Blogger Award, Shari. Check it out the post on my blog: http://featheredbythemoonlight.blogspot.com/2010/04/if-youre-beautiful-and-you-know-it-clap.html