Tuesday, April 27, 2010

A Moving Heartbreak

The girls are really, really good friends with a little boy named P and his sister L.  They are inseparable whenever they can be.  For the past two years, the girls have been in class with P. 

He has been the Blond Twin's crush for the last two years. To explain how attached she is to P, a few weeks ago, the girls were doing their homework and discussing their future grooms.  I said, "You are too young to be talking about getting married."  The Brunette Twin said, "I think I'll marry P."  The Blond Twin's head nearly spun around as she said, "If anyone in this house marries P, it will be me."  She said it with such power that the Brunette Twin changed the subject.  She just adores P. 

Yesterday P and L were at our house for a playdate.  Their Mom told me they were moving, which made me sad.  They live close, so it's not a big deal to drop the kids at one house or the other.  If they move, it might require more planning.

Then their Mom dropped the bombshell.  The family is moving back to Ireland next year.  I nearly cried.  She had tears in her eyes as she explained why.  She said the first thing P said when they told him was "What about the Blond Twin and the Brunette Twin?"  Even though I understand why they have to go back, I am so sad today.

And yet, I know the worst is yet to come.  At some point, we will have to tell the them that P and L are moving.  It will break their little kindergarten hearts. We'll put it off as long as possible, but P and L know.  One day the girls will come home from school and start asking questions.  It will take a while before they realize how far P and L will be.  Once the realization hits, they are going to be very upset. 

I realize he won't be the Blond Twin's crush forever. She will have many, many crushes.  I did think they would be friends, though.  It's going to be a lot harder (aka nearly impossible) to maintain that once P moves to Ireland. 

His Mom did say several times that she will have extra rooms and she expects us to come visit.  They have a lot of family in our area, so they will be back every other year.  It's not like the girls won't see P and L ever again.  It just won't be the same as spending days in the backyard together just because it's a nice day. 

Still, I'm sad.  I can hardly look at the girls today without thinking about the secret I am keeping.  We have a year to deal with it, but I dread the heartbreak when the girls realize P and L are moving far away. 


Julie K said...

They may stay in touch (especially with the internet and webcams)... though they will grow apart for such a long distance (and time between visits). My best friend from the age of 3 to nearly 6 years of age was D. He was the first boy to ask me to marry him (yes, I think we were 4). As it happened I moved to another state. We tried to write (once we learned how), but D wasn't such a great penpal. I did, though, pick up his older sister as a penpal and we wrote often for over 20 years and continue on the Xmas list now (some 30+ years later). I was long forgotten and not spoken of until I moved back, as an adult, to the area where he lived. His Mom and Dad had a party, and all his brothers and his sister (he is the youngest) kept ribbing him (in front of his wife) about me. She, being his HS sweetheart, was a bit perplexed as she hadn't heard my name before. I was no threat, but it was funny (and we got together periodically while I lived in the area).

Noelle said...

The moving thing is so hard...we're military so we've been through that a lot. In one year, three of my daughters four friends moved away. It was really hard for her, I won't lie. Keeping in touch is a lot easier these days, with the internet. But, like you, I'm keeping it a big secret that another one of her best friends is moving away in a couple of months. She knows they're going to different kindergartens so that will be my cover. Totally dishonest, I know, but I just can't bear to break her little heart again!

Sorry, I was NO help here!

Nicki said...

That is totally sad that they won't be able to play together all the time anymore! On the bright side, they'll probably get the unforgettable chance to visit Ireland, and they'll have penpals/Internet pals in Ireland! Maybe you can put a positive spin on it and make it seem really exciting for P and L and everyone. Tell the girls that P and L are moving to the place where leprechauns come from!

Dawn said...

I'm about to experience a similar event, though to a much lesser degree.

My son's best friend since they were in pre-K (they're now in first grade) is moving to a nearby town and to a new school. His family is Indian and they wanted to be part of the closer knit Indian community in that town, which I understand. But it breaks my heart for the boys.

They are so close and although I know we can drive and make playdates, I also know that it will eventually peter out as they both form new bonds with other kids whom they see daily.

I've known for months and was having a difficult time with how to tell my son, but his friend told him first and he was sad, but not as heartbroken as I feared. And since he learned, he has made an effort to reach out to other kids in his class.

I know how hard this will be. Just remember time heals all wounds and as a parent, you can help encourage your girls to keep the relationship and their memories alive.