Sunday, April 18, 2010

Having "The Talk"

The brat in the backyard has escalated her bullying form just mean words to physical violence.  She hit the brunette twin in the head the other day because she wanted to swing.  I didn't find out about this for two days.  In the end, the blond twin told me.  This immediately set a few things into action.

First, I talked to the brunette twin.  I explained to her that she always needs to tell me when someone hits her, whether it is an accident or on purpose.  We talked for a while about why this is important.  I thanked the blond twin for telling me what happened.  We talked about why it was wrong.

Second, I decided I had to talk about her mother about the brat's recent behavior.  I rehearsed what I was going to say for over and over again.  I tried to find the best way to explain it in simple words since the brat's mother doesn't speak fluent English.  Only then did I walk to her house.

I saw cars in the driveway and realized they had company, so I went home.  A few hours later I tried again, and went home again. 

Two days went by before the time worked out for "the talk."  I explained to the mother what happened.  I told her I heard about the brat hitting other children in the neighborhood.  I told her that the brat wasn't welcome in our yard for a while.  To her credit, she seemed really upset that it happened. 

I next saw her while waiting for the girls to get home from school.  She asked if the girls could talk to her when they got off the bus.  I agreed, of course. 

When all the girls came off the bus, the mother asked her daughter what happened.  The brat denied it, then she said something that nearly put our girls in hysterics.  She said, "I didn't hit the brunette twin.  She hit me and the blond twinkicked me."  The girls started screaming at her.  I'm not sure upset described how angry they were at that moment. 

Once they calmed down, the mother asked her daughter again and again about what happened.  The brat just stopped talking. 

I explained to the mother that her daughter could not come to our yard until she figured out how to get along with all the kids in the neighborhood.  The mother said she understood and would talk to her daughter.

It was a truly unpleasant conversation, but I was glad to see that she took it seriously.  The only problem is her daughter is a an out-of-control brat.  I'm sure she had her mother convinced it was all an accident before they made it in the house.  I cannot do anything about that problem, but I can do something about how she behaves in our yard. 

Even though I dreaded it, I'm glad the talk went so well.  Somehow I doubt it will be the only one we have this summer.


Nicki said...

Ugh, sounds like a kid your girls are better off avoiding like the plague!

Noelle said...

I love how you are always so involved and engaged when it comes to your girls. A lot of moms would have just simmered about it and never confronted that other mother. Kudos to that mom, too, for owning up to you. Hope "the brat" learns a lesson from all this, although she sounds like a troubled kid.