Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Confident and Secure

I met with the girls' preschool teacher recently for our first parent/teacher conference. We went through all the usual stuff about how well they were doing academically and socially when she said the most interesting thing. She said, "They are two of the most confident and secure children I have ever had in any of my classes."

This still swirls around in my head. It is interesting that she describes them as confident, because we have seen that before. I always say they have a lot of poise for five-year-olds. Those two walk into a room like they own it. They are definitely stronger together than apart. The brunette twin is a bit more reserved without her sister, but she still can light up a room.

It's the word "secure" that I'm still trying to figure out. Yourdictionary.com defines secure as
  • free from fear, care, doubt, or anxiety; not worried, troubled, or apprehensive
  • free from danger; not exposed to damage, attack, etc.; safe
    in safekeeping or custody
  • not likely to fail or give way; firm; strong; stable to make a knot secure
  • reliable; dependable a secure investment

I know what she means. The girls are not apprehensive or afraid in most situations. They are strong and independent. Still, I wonder how she came up with the word "secure." I would have thought she would have said something like, "They do not have separation anxiety like many preschool children. They are quite independent."

I also wonder how we did it. I'd like to say it was part of our grand parenting master plan, but it wasn't. When you are in the midst of parenting twins, you don't spend a lot of time talking about the big picture. There are a lot of coversations about the nitty gritty of daily life.

I know in all our chats about the girls, we never said, "We want them to be secure." We talked about how we want them to know they are loved unconditionally and how we want them to know that this is always home, no matter where they roam. We never used the word secure, although we seem to have accomplished it. If only everything about raising children would be so easy.

2 comments:

Marketing Mommy said...

I would say being secure is fundamental to self-esteem and being a balanced, self-aware person. So congratulations!

cindy w said...

Wow. Sounds like y'all are doing something right, even if you don't know exactly how you did it!