Smile Sweetly

A friend with a friend having twins asked me for one piece of advice for this soon-to-be Mom of twins. I told her to pass along one thing to her friend. She needs to learn how to smile sweetly and say, "How old are your twins?"

It's my favorite line. Everyone thinks they know how they would raise twins. And, they always want to pass those words of wisdom to me. Complete strangers in the grocery store check-out line tell me how to raise the girls. Other parents in classes tell me what they think we should do about separating or keeping the girls together in school. Of course, I can tell in seconds that they not only do not have twins, they do not know anyone with twins.

Rather than tell them they have no idea what they are talking about, I smile sweetly and ask, "How old are your twins?" This immediately stops the unsolicited advice. The reality is, only someone with twins understands what it is like to have twins. I don't know what it is like to have one child. We have only had twins. I don't know what it is like to have triplets -- having two at one time is not the same as having three at one time.

Perhaps it is time for a truce. You don't tell me how we should raise our twins, and I won't offer you unsolicited advice. Deal?