Thursday, October 16, 2014

Sorrow and gratitude

We were in Lexington KY when the call came. I heard the phone ring, but couldn't find the phone quickly enough to answer it. When I listened to the message, I immediately turned on my computer. Our neighbor called to say a small plane crashed on our block. He said our house was fine. In fact, somehow through whatever version of divine intervention you believe in, no homes were hit.

Now that we're home I'm very glad we were in Lexington when the plane crashed. Everyone from the neighborhood was at the crash site. The pictures were horrible. The stories were worse.

A fifth grade boy down the block talked about finding body parts on his front lawn. He said he saw plane parts everywhere. He closed by telling us that he was afraid to go to sleep and loud noises frightened him. He shuffled back and forth staring at his shoes. He said he didn't think he wanted to go to a haunted house this Halloween. It was heartbreaking.

Another neighbor was one of the first people at the crash site. He said it didn't look real. He likened it to a movie set. He walked through looking for survivors, but quickly realized no survivors would be found.

Other neighbors talked about the sounds as the plane passed over and the crash sounds. They looked grim when they talked about the days after when the neighborhood was blocked and you showed an ID to get past the police stationed at each end. It was all so overwhelming.

The strangest part was driving by the crash site for the first time. There were flowers and candles set-up as a memorial. There were some marks on the ground where the plane hit. Amazingly enough, there were no other signs of the crash. Somehow the plane went down without taking out even a street sign. I was told that a tree was hit, but I couldn't tell you where it was.

The neighbors who were here have a common story, which is gratitude. We are sorry that the three doctors in the plane died, but everyone is truly thankful that the plane didn't crash into a house.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Monday through Friday Nine to Five

When the girls started taking piano, Daddy said they could practice any time Monday through Friday from 9:00 a.m. until 5:00 p.m. In other words, they could only practice when he was at work. Now they are pretty good pianists so they can practice any time.

Since they joined the school band they are expected to practice those instruments every day as well. The girls are excited about having two instruments. They spent a lot of time yesterday talking about their new instruments and practicing. Of course, they've only had one lesson so the only thing they could practice was blowing into the mouthpiece.

I banished them upstairs into the spare bedroom/office. It wasn't that it bothered me, but Holly just hid when they started blowing out those high pitched sounds. It was an interesting reaction from Holly, who regularly howls when they play piano. She wasn't interested in howling with their wind instruments. They practiced upstairs while Holly stayed downstairs.

Daddy came home to find them bubbling about their instruments. They showed him all the parts and explained everything they learned. When the girls were getting ready for bed I said, "Remember the Monday through Friday 9 to 5 rule? I think now it's all practice, all the time." Daddy just smiled. It has been a standing joke in our house, but now it's done. With two instruments it will be all music practice all the time -- at least for this year. The brunette twin is already talking about dropping her flute to join choir next year. If that happens, then we'll get to hear her practice yet another new instrument next year when she works on her voice.

Saturday, October 4, 2014

Pretty in paint

When I was in Girl Scouts, we received a badge book. We would flip the pages and decide which badges we wanted to earn. Now Girls Scouts go through journeys so they are assigned projects and badges. To complete a journey, the girls must complete a related community service project.

This was how we found ourselves in a shelter for women and children painting the common area today. The space was used for families to do their laundry, as well as for children to receiving tutoring or participate in activities. It was dark and cluttered and dirty and depressing.

We planned this for months. First we spent time talking about the families who lived in the shelter. We planned the space after considering the different ways the families used it. We looked at dozens of paint chips, talking about how different colors would look. We had an adventure buying materials at a local hardware store. We created lists so every family knew what to bring. We made a plan.  Today we executed the plan.

We discussed a division of duties with the shelter staff. There were only a couple of things we asked them to do. The big one was to get rid of excess stuff that accumulated there. People donated items to the shelter and what wasn't immediately needed ended up piled up in the basement. We had to clean out a lot of stuff before we could even start painting. Unless we removed some stuff we didn't have enough space to move the furniture to paint the walls.

The girls were natural painters. The parents alternately painted, trained and supervised. We were busy, but it was fun. Daddy and the blond twin painted a bathroom while the rest of the troop and the parents painted the walls.

The girls' cousin Zach came with us to help. He needed community service hours for high school. We needed his help to get everything moved, rearranged and painted. The girls all liked having Zach around. Zach went from being the youngest child in his family to being a big brother to five girls, even if just for a day.

It took longer than we hoped, but it was a job well done. The shelter staff came by to ooohh and aaaahhhh during and after the painting. We took photos to document their work transforming a drab, dirty space into a bright, pretty area with plenty of space for crafts and tutoring and relaxing. We were all covered in paint and tired, but it was a good kind of tired. Our girls were so happy with the project. They talked about how much fun they had and how happy they were to help the shelter families. They compared the amount of paint on their hands, clothes and hair.

We had hoped they'd internalize the experience and realize how much they have to give, not in terms of money, but in terms of their time and energy. They did finish their journey and earn their badges. I'm pretty sure they also learned that there is truly something satisfying about spending time helping others. It would be best lesson of the day.

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

It’s time to stop complaining about Common Core

This was originally posted on The Chicago Moms

During our recent parent orientation, our daughters’ teachers explained that they would not have math books this year. The fifth grade students would receive math worksheets as the school decided to test Eureka Math. Apparently Eureka Math doesn’t come with a textbook. Now we get to spend our evenings doing online research so we can figure out how to help our daughters with this new math program.

It’s déjà vu for us. We spent last year trying to figure out Origo Math, a program with such terrible quality control that the fourth grade students spent a lot of time finding errors in the worksheets. Every math class became a game called “which problems are wrong today,” which annoyed the parents. It seemed to all of us that a company filled with mathematicians should have been able to create a program without so many basic errors. Origo Math didn’t donate the program. Our school district spent a lot of money on it. Last time I checked, no one was paying our fourth graders to correct Origo Math.
This year we’re subjected to another new math program. We have been told that Eureka Math aligns with Common Core standards better than Origo Math. In other words, last year the district used our children as test monkeys for a failed math program so this year we’re testing another math program on these same students. In the end, they have to unlearn Origo system and learn the Eureka Math system. We left the meetings frustrated and angry with the ongoing Common Core excuses.
It’s time for school districts to figure out how to implement Common Core. As a parent and taxpayer, I’m tired of hearing about how the school district is “trying” to find the best ways to implement Common Core. For years now our local school district newsletter has been heralding all the hard work being done to get ready for Common Core. They’ve outlined the arduous task in excruciating detail. Still, since Common Core has ruled our educational landscape, all we have heard is how our award-winning, high performing school district is “trying” to figure out what will best meet Common Core standards. Really? What have they been doing all these years?
This week our girls had substitutes two days in a row so their teachers could receive Common Core training. Our very expensive property taxes funded these meetings. As a parent and taxpayer, I’d like to understand what exactly is getting done in these meetings? At some point don’t they have to actually teach Common Core? Simply meeting and complaining about Common Core isn’t providing our students with an education.
I am not complaining about Common Core. I’ve read about it extensively. I’m pretty well-versed on the pros and cons. In the end, whether teachers like it or not, it is the new standard. At this point, I don’t understand why our school district, which had years to plan, can’t provide its core service – an education – to meet Common Core standards. From conversations I have with friends across our area, it’s a frustration parents in many school districts share.
Please don’t tell me how it has caused schools to reinvent themselves. In the corporate world we do this all the time. I look at Common Core as a new boss. In corporate America, new bosses show up all the time. You have to figure out the new boss’s priorities and adapt. We don’t get years to plan. We don’t have training meetings during our work days to analyze and complain about the new boss. We just have to figure out how to keep the new boss happy. If we translate this into Common Core language, it’s time for teachers to stop complaining about the new boss and just get onboard.  It’s time for school districts to figure out how to implement Common Core so that an entire generation doesn’t get left behind while they are planning. Illinois children deserve better than what they are getting.
Shari writes about life with her tween twin daughters at Two Times The Fun. Image courtesy of Free Images.

Monday, September 29, 2014

A drop of what?

Overheard at our house...

Mommy: There's blood on your neck. What did you do?

Blond Twin: I don't know. Where is it?

Mommy:  On your neck, right here.

Blond Twin: How did I get blood on my neck?

Mommy:  I don't know. Go wash your neck and let's see.

Blond Twin: Oh, it's not blood. It's pizza sauce.

Mommy looks at the Brunette Twin and sighs. Daddy laughs.

Mommy:  This is going on the blog.

Blond Twin:  I know.

Saturday, September 27, 2014

We're just tired

Sometimes at the end of the day the girls will look at Mommy and Daddy with some alarm and say, “Are you ok?” We nearly always respond, “We’re just tired.” They think we’re mad or sad or something else. The reality is that we’re just tired.

I blame the TV shows they watch. On the tween-friendly shows everyone is happy and smiling all the time. No one is every tired in a real, collapse on the couch to watch TV way. Even when they are sick they are perfectly dressed with full make-up. Oh, they might have a red nose to signal a cold, but the rest of them is picture perfect. No one ever puts on sweatpants and a big t-shirt because they just don’t feel like dressing any better on a day when they don’t have to leave the house. Females never put their hair in a pony tail just because they can't decide what to do with their hair. No one on TV is ever just tired.
Being tired is a universal parenting reaction at the end of the day, isn’t it? By the time we get the girls to and from school, activities and play dates; take care of the house, laundry, meals; do that thing that pays the bills (aka work); spend some time together; and connect with the outside world, we’re tired. I tell them it’s because their parents are old. I know that’s not really true, though, because I hear the same things from parents much younger than us.
It’s not really a complaint as much as I know it sounds like it is. It’s really just an acknowledgement that we live full, fun lives. Someday I know the girls will understand. I just hope Mommy and Daddy saying they are tired isn’t going to stick with them as our parenting mantra.

Thursday, September 25, 2014

A kid like me

We took the girls to the Chicago Blackhawks Training Camp Festival last Monday. It’s a fun time with lots of activities and a scrimmage game. The girls get to sit in the stadium and experience the pre-game activities from singing the National Anthem to watching the videos that come on the scoreboard just before the players take the ice.

The festival used to be on Saturday so we’d go down for the afternoon. For the first training camp festival we took Mom and Dad to see the Stanley Cup. It’s now held on a Monday night, which means we race home from school, do homework, get in the car and drive to the United Center. Even though the girls had something to eat after school, they were hungry when we got into the United Center.

There were lengthy lines to get into the stadium. Even though there was a lot of stuff going on outside, we didn’t linger. We walked through to see everything and then got into a line. Everyone one in line wanted a Duncan Keith bobble head. We knew Daddy was already inside with our bobble head.

We got in and found four seats. The scrimmage has general admission seating meaning it’s first-come, first-serve for all seats. We ended up on the 300-level, just behind the American flag. The girls giggled during the national anthem because everyone looked like they were staring at us. The blond twin waved and a player waved back. She was thrilled.
We took turns going to get food so we always had someone in our seats. The brunette twin and I wandered the concourse for a bit looking for something she wanted to eat. The lines were really long. She kept moving to the next place to see if the lines were shorter. We ended up at a place selling turkey or beef sandwiches, salads and hummus. I thought she’d go for the hummus, but she wanted a turkey sandwich.
By the time we got up to order, the turkey sandwiches were gone. The brunette twin ordered a roast beef sandwich. We went to our seats and she started eating. She kept picking things off the sandwich to ask what they were. The sandwich had a relish with pickles, peppers and carrots diced into some mayonnaise. She devoured the sandwich. I took a bit and told her how tasty the sandwich was while she told me how much she liked it.
She went on and on about how much she liked the sandwich, saying, “Who would have thought a kid like me would like this so much?” I laughed because it was my thought exactly. The girl who won’t eat macaroni and cheese that doesn’t look like what she gets at home was sitting at the United Center devouring a roast beef sandwich with a pickle, pepper and carrot relish. And, she was loving it.